Jamie Jackson was at the Etihad to see City’s latest procession. Here’s his report: be about your business, clickity click! Thanks for reading this MBM. Stay safe and warm, everyone. Goodnight, Dick!
Here come the judge. “It was a fresh team against a very tired team,” begins Mourinho. “But a team that started the game very well, with the game completely in control. We hit the post, 1-0 would have given us fuel in the boys’ legs. Then one of these modern penalties – I call them modern penalties – to put us in a difficult situation. But I am very happy with the players’ attitude. I had guys on the pitch that played two hours a couple of days ago, they gave everything. We have guys in difficulty. Lucas was the one I took off at half-time, but I had other guys on the pitch in such a difficult situation. But great attitude and great dignity. Losing 3-0, a team that is not united or together would give up and be punished. But I saw guys like Harry, Pierre and Heung, just to tell you three names I could give you, give everything. So I have nothing to say against my payers, not even against a couple of defensive mistakes that are always present. But I cannot complain with the attitude.” A lot to unpack there. Enjoy, enjoy.
Rodri, who took the first penalty of his entire career this evening, explains the process to Sky. “I was a bit angry because we missed many penalties, so I said next penalty I will shoot. I grabbed the ball and no-one took the ball away from me. Fortunately I scored! [Silva gave me advice] telling me points about Lloris, where to shoot the penalty. I didn’t listen! I didn’t listen! Because many times it’s better to be focused on where you are confident, and I was confident to shoot that way. Luckily it was in. We were laughing in the locker room, next penalty I will take!”
As the players troop off, Mourinho ostentatiously hugs Kane, Son and a deeply unhappy Dier. His team will certainly need a pick-me-up after being casually swatted aside by City. It was another mesmerising performance from City and Ilkay Gundogan in particular. They’ll be hoping the groin injury he limped off with isn’t too serious. They’re seven clear of Leicester with a game in hand; eight clear of neighbours Manchester United with the same number of matches played. And they’re 13 points clear, with a game in hand, on Liverpool, the reigning champions but now an irrelevance in the title race. Spurs stay in eighth.
90 min +1: Another Spurs corner. Son swings it in. Ederson claims and sends Mahrez off on the counter. Davies takes one for the team, and receives his booking.
89 min: Foden drifts into the box from the corner. He waltzes past the hapless Sanchez and pulls back for Sterling, who switches his feet and blasts for the bottom right. Lloris sticks out a leg and hacks clear.
81 min: The Gareth Bale of 2013 turns up! On the edge of the D, he faces Stones, Silva and Laporte. He shimmies and shakes, and makes his way through! Just enough space and time for a shot. He rasps one towards the top right, but Ederson is up to it, and palms away. Shame, that would have been a lovely goal. As it is, it’s merely a lovely cameo.
74 min: Spurs are trying to piece together a response, but passing sequences in the final third seem beyond them. City are quite happy to sit back and let them flail about. “Thanks for reminding me how old I am,” writes Mary Waltz. “Picking up the Rowan and Martin reference and suddenly realizing that 89% of the MBM readers have no idea who they are.” They could always look them up in their Funk & Wagnalls.
71 min: Spurs have collectively lost the head, to the point that Kane gives the ball straight to Foden while clearing up at a corner. Foden threads a shot towards the bottom right, but Lloris is good for this one.
68 min: Gundogan – two goals, one assist – has been unplayable for the last couple of months, so City will be worried to see him seated on the turf, holding his groin.
GOAL! Manchester City 3-0 Tottenham Hotspur (Gundogan 66)
This is direct, but oh so beautiful. Ederson launches long. It’s Gundogan versus Sanchez. The Spurs defender has no idea where he is, or what to do. Gundogan takes a little touch to the right, then back to the left. As Sanchez is left sprawling, Gundogan passes daintily into the bottom right. An exquisite finish … and not a bad assist from the keeper either! Give that man a penalty to take.
59 min: Sterling crosses long from the right. At the far post, Foden volleys it first time back to Gundogan, free in acres on the penalty spot. If Gundogan traps and takes his time, he surely scores. But he attempts a first-time swivel and volley, and times it all wrong. Spurs go up the other end, Ndombele having a speculative look from just inside the box, but it’s an easy claim for Ederson.
57 min: Foden grooves in from the left and enters the box. He’s charged off the ball by Tanganga, in the no-nonsense style. Foden wants a spot kick, but it’s not forthcoming.
GOAL! Manchester City 2-0 Tottenham Hotspur (Gundogan 50)
Sterling isn’t giving it up. He worms around the left channel and feeds Gundogan, who pokes a fierce shot towards the bottom left and through Lloris’s weak hand. Spurs in bother now.
49 min: Sterling dribbles through the Spurs box from right to left. He can’t find space to shoot. He lays off to Foden. No space for Foden either. But no matter, because …
City get the second half underway. Spurs have made one change: Sissoko on for Moura. “My poor father is trying to watch this game online here in the States via NBC, but reports that every link he clicks takes him instead to the impeachment trail,” writes Nathan Tucker. “It occurred to me that watching the impeachment’s frustratingly foregone conclusion unfold is not unlike watching Spurs this season. Maybe someone at NBC is having a laugh.” The network that gave us Seinfeld, Cheers, Parks & Recreation and Friends, reduced to trolling for yuks? That it’s come to this. Rowan and Martin will be spinning in their graves.
Half-time reading. He’s not saying anything we hadn’t worked out for ourselves, but Jurgen Klopp has conceded the title in the wake of Liverpool’s latest capitulation. David Hytner reports.
There’s just enough time for Cancelo to send a curler into the top-left corner of the stand behind Lloris’s goal, and that’s the half-time whistle. As things stand, City are going seven points clear at the top of the Premier League.
42 min: Sterling sashays down the right and reaches the byline. He pulls back for Gundogan, whose low drive is blocked by a superb Sanchez slide. The ball breaks to Jesus, who blazes over. City very close to doubling their lead.
40 min: Lamela is incensed enough to nearly talk himself into the book, but the referee wisely doesn’t double down on his error. Nothing comes of the resulting free kick, so we can put the whole sorry episode to bed.
38 min: Lamela is scissor-tackled by Jesus. No free kick. Jesus scampers away with the ball. Lamela bowls him over in frustration. Free kick this time. Philosophical debate ensues.
36 min: Sterling crosses from the right. Davies is right next to him, and the ball clips his arm. Sterling wants another penalty, but he’s not getting one.